Men and women can totally co-exist with one another just as long as it's clear that when women say certain things they may mean the total opposite of what they're feeling. It's really up to guys to be smart and figure it out. The sooner you read between the proverbial lines, the happier you'll both be.
No matter how many times she says it, something you did has totally pissed her off. So you better put on your thinking cap or retrace your steps and figure out what you did wrong so you can apologize right away! Grovel if necessary.
"It Would Be Nice If"
Yeah, so, here's the thing. She's not making a suggestion or really giving you an option. She's actually ordering you to do something and you'd be wise to obey for your own good. Or you could just get a reasonable woman.
Whether she sounds mad or resigned, whenever she says 'fine' she's letting you know that you lost the argument and nothing's going to change that.
Let us just translate this for you: No, it's actually the opposite of Ok. Don't fall for this trap! She's merely biding her time until she can figure out how she can get back at you for canceling on that date she was so desperately looking forward to or something.
"It's Up To You"
You're really gullible if you think that she's actually giving you the freedom to choose what you want, especially if she twirls her hair and gives you that little smirk. What she's really saying is that it's up to you to choose what you want just as long you choose what she wants. But you should already know what she'd choose at least from her perspective.
When she tells you that she'll be ready in 5 minutes she's really saying that it can take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour for her to finish getting ready, finding all the contents she'll need to stick in her purse and check her makeup once again.
"Thanks A Lot"
She's not being courteous (at least not in most cases). What she's really saying is the opposite and it should be clear as water by now. Just stop being a prick and do what she asked. You could just get a new girlfriend but that's even more time-consuming.
"We Need To Talk"
There is no "we" in this conversation. She's about to drop a bombshell which will involve some bad news like she's found someone else and is about to dump you on the side of the road like an old couch. Or you need to start taking out the trash more often which is even worth.
"What Are You Doing?"
Translation: You're doing it wrong! It's not really a question. It's more like a verbal shake up to get you to realize that whatever it is you're doing, it's totally wrong. No 'ands', 'ifs' or 'buts' about it.
"I'm Not Upset"
She's not upset. She's REALLY UPSET! It's kind of similar to "Nothing". The remedy is the same. You better apologize, get on your knees if necessary. Buying her some flowers, some candy or taking her out to dinner may be the only medicine.